THE POST-ASS-KICKING RECOVERY GEAR: Core Fleece Sweatpant

DESIGN DETAIL: Right Leg: FAF Left Leg: RACING DIVISION

PRODUCT CATEGORY: Official Gear for Mandatory Downtime.

YOU KICKED ASS. NOW IT'S TIME TO DEACTIVATE.

We know you just finished operating at terminal velocity, breaking limits, and generally making everyone else look slow. But even the Fastest As Fuck need a pit stop. These aren't just sweatpants; they're your official, mandatory uniform for the recovery phase.

You earned the right to swap your aggressive gear for this absurdly soft fleece. The FAF RACING DIVISION demands you take a minute before you destroy the world again.

BUILT FOR THE COUCH COMMENCEMENT ( - With Sarcasm):

• MIDWEIGHT MEDIOCRITY (7.8 oz.): At a respectable 7.8 oz. (50% cotton / 50% poly fleece), these pants are light enough to slip into without exerting any unnecessary effort—which is the goal, right? You already spent all your energy.
• ANTI-PILL PERFECTION: Featuring air jet yarn for a soft, pill-resistant finish. This is crucial. If your gear starts pilling, people might think you actually use them for exercise, and we can't have that. They're built to stay looking new, even if you don't.
• THE ELASTIC OF EXHAUSTION: The elastic waistband with drawcord offers the maximum adaptability necessary for post-win refueling (i.e., pizza). No complicated buttons or zippers here; maximum expansion potential is key.
• FREEDOM AT THE BOTTOM: We gave you open bottom cuffs. Why? Because we assume you're not going anywhere, and you shouldn't feel restricted by unnecessary ribbing. Your ankles deserve to breathe after all that chaos.
• POCKET PROFICIENCY: Includes pockets for essentials like the TV remote, your phone, and that one crumpled receipt you can't be bothered to throw away.

THE BOTTOM LINE: If you're going to relax, relax Fast As Fuck. Throw on the pants, find the most horizontal surface available, and enjoy the silence. You earned this break. Now get soft. Live FAF.